Avoiding “Maybe” as an Answer to Your Kids

Kids are always full of curiosity and wonder; that is why they constantly ask too many questions or make requests. In moments like this, it is a parent’s responsibility to guide them through the right path by answering their questions in the best way possible.

Some of the questions that children ask are easily answered, whereas some may be a little tricky to have a direct answer to. In such instances, many parents tend to reach for “maybe” as a response simply because they are buying some time, attempting to avoid disappointments, avoiding immediate consequences, or avoiding feeling guilty.

Delaying a decision by giving a non-committal response can cause more problems than good to the child. Parents give up their right to be definitive by giving too many “maybe.” As a result, kids tend to believe the answer is up for debate. Also, giving too many “maybe” prompts children to make their own decision because the boundaries are not clearly laid out. A child that is told maybe they can play outside will likely go out to play.

Kids who get “maybe” as a response are left with uncertainty and have to think about it all day until their question is answered. Due to this uncertain situation, children build mental simulations of the possible outcomes. A kid’s parent who always gives a “no” response will spend the better part of the day anticipating bad news, whereas an optimistic child will daydream of a positive outcome.

Parents can’t be certain of all the decisions they make; therefore, it is wise for them to make the child understand they don’t have an answer but will make an effort to find one. Such honesty improves a child-parent relationship.

Parents should avoid using maybe as a response and replace it with a more proactive and decisive response. Here are some alternatives to use:

• Straight affirmation: “yes.” It is an agreed request which parents should ensure is met within a reasonable time.

• Straight negation: “no.” Right after giving this response, provide reasons.

• Delay due to circumstances: “I will answer after….” Explain to the child how the decision is linked to a particular circumstance and let them know when to expect an answer by offering a deadline.